ANGELFISH

Erin Murphy

Angel
2022–2022
Loved by many, a truly exceptional fish
She will swim on forever in our hearts

 

£450. For a fish.
    He couldn’t understand it. This was his first time noticing the gravestone, which must have been erected sometime that month and was just a few meters behind where his dog was buried. He’d only spent £200 on Cruffin’s headstone, plus £50 a year in maintenance fees. Judging by the prices he’d seen in the catalogue, the gravestone alone must have cost a minimum of £350. Having more than two lines of wording cost extra too.
     A fresh bouquet of flowers and a ceramic treasure chest had been placed lovingly within the small square border at the foot of the grave, with care so that the offerings were perfectly central. He glanced over towards Cruffin’s modestly-sized headstone, only half the size of the fish’s. Cruffin’s flowers were looking much limper.
     He hated the tackiness of wilted flowers, but he’d brought nothing to replace them with. He’d barely scraped the time to visit the grave, stopping by Tesco beforehand was out of the question. He aimed to replace them weekly, but the office had been particularly demanding: April was the busiest month for bankruptcies. He supposed the kind of people who could indulge in a gravestone for a fish would be indulgent enough to change the flowers multiple times a week, perhaps even daily.
     How exceptional could a fish be, anyway? Could it fetch the newspaper like Cruffin used to, or lie across your feet to warm them every morning? The only useful thing he could think of a fish being able to lie across was a plate.
     Making sure there was nobody else around, he swapped the flowers. He reckoned it wouldn’t be long before they changed them again anyway. He did wonder if Cruffin himself would care about their quality: in life he’d made it his mission to destroy every bunch that entered the house. No matter how high up the vase was placed, Cruffin would find a way to knock it.
     He smiled. Cruffin had been a bit of a bastard.